What I am about to share is a process of how to become attractive and therefore how to attract a girl. This is not about cheesy pickup lines and this process actually require your participation, otherwise it`s not gonna work.
As you can see, attracting a girl is becoming attractive. Don`t get the idea wrong, it has NOTHING to do with your looks. It`s about your personality and the way you present yourself. I`ll guide you through steps which needs to be done to become attractive.
Warm up your brain, prepare a pen and paper and commit to yourself that you will participate with the exercises. Ready?
How to Attract a Girl: Get Rid of the Wrong Beliefs
Most of us have wrong beliefs or assumptions about the attraction or what girls want. It`s not important, if those beliefs or assumptions are because of our moms, a relationship between our parents, bad experience with exgirlfriend, movies, recent society, media etc. The important thing is to realize that things aren`t always the way you think.
I want you to open your mind to new things, concepts and realizations. You need to be aware of the fact that girls think and act differently than guys. Stop assuming, learn how girls really work and then act based on that.
Girls Are Attracted Only to Handsome Guys
False. Just because men are attracted to looks, doesn`t mean girls are attracted to looks as well. You can bet handsome guys have easier life when it comes to meeting girls, but looks isn`t the magic attraction button.
We choose girls just by looks, it`s our measurement of beauty. Girls are attracted to a whole integrity (personality, character) of guys. That`s exactly why you hear a lot from girls “Just be yourself”. Do not pretend you`re someone else, girls will notice that, because they`re excellent readers of body language.
How to attract a girl if you are not handsome?
Have you ever seen a beautiful girl with a not good-looking guy? I`m sure you did. I`m even sure you have seen so many beautiful girls with not good-looking guys. How is that possible? It`s simple, those guys have a good personality and they just naturally attract girls, who are attracted to character, not to looks.
If you haven`t seen a beautiful girl with a not good-looking guy, next time you are out, look around for beautiful girls and notice how many of them have good looking or not good looking guys.
Now, let`s digg deeper for each of those qualities:
Creativity – you don`t need to be an artist, but you need to be able to deal with normal daily situations. I`ll give you an example. Let`s imagine a guy and a girl on a first date. They just left a coffee shop.
Dialogue no. 1
girl: “So, what are we gonna do now?”
guy: “I don`t know. What would you like to do?”
Dialogue no. 2
girl: “So, what are we gonna do now?”
guy: “Hey, I know about terrific place where we can borrow ice-skates and have fun. Are you in?”
In which dialogue was the guy more attractive to the girl? It`s obvious, right? It`s because he knows what are the options, he knows how to handle the situation and he makes the decisions, so she doesn`t have to.
Exercise: Force yourself to think of more options in a normal daily situations. Do not become a victim of your habbits, which kill your creativity. Choose a different way to your school/work/shop. Mix things up a little bit, don`t be afraid of a change, be proactive.
It might be hard at the beginning, however the human body is unbelieveably adaptive, so I guarantee you that the more often you are gonna practice this exercise, the fast you become creative. You`ll be blown with the results.
I know what I`m talking about, I used to be the I-don`t-know guy and it cost me 3 wonderful relationships – the girls just couldn`t handle it.
Humor - again, you don`t need to be Jerry Seinfeld or Eddie Izzard. If you feel you don`t have a humor, then develop it! Hang out with guys, who are funny (this is huge!). Watch funny tv shows, soak the humor (any known stand up comedian, Friends, How I Met Your Mother, Jerry Seinfeld, Fresh Prince, …).
You need to develop a humor. If a girl needs to decide between two guys, where one of them has a sense of humor and the other one not, who do you think the girl would prefer?
Humor is not about delivering jokes, girls are not interested in jokes as much as guys are. Humor for girls means that a guy doesn`t have a problem to make fun of himself. In other words, you need to learn to not take yourself too seriously.
Exercise: I don`t have any special exercise, so I`m gonna share with you what has helped me tremendously. It`s all in your head and the way you see the world around you.
First, I just pretend in my head that I`m a star of some tv show and all the things that are happening around me are just a part of the show. It`s so much fun.
Second, I do realize we all are humans and I`m sure that anything happens to me, has happend to anyone else, which takes all the pressure out of every situation and allows me to laugh about it and have great stories to tell.
Selfrespect - stop feeling sorry for yourself. You are a man and you are responsible for your actions, nobody else.
How well do you know yourself? How much time you spend alone, letting your thoughts just flying in your mind? How much do you think about yourself in order to get to know yourself better?
This is not a narcism, this is about knowing your real you, without any excuses or apologies, the raw you and the things you really want/like or don`t want/like. Both of those things are extremely important, because by clarifying what you want and what you don`t, you are creating your boundaries, which form your character.
Notice the difference of the following question of a guy who
Question no. 1
guy: “… would you go out with a guy like me… sometimes…. maybe?”
Question no. 2
guy: “Listen, I like your energy and want to know you better. What is better for you – thursday night or friday night?”
Exercise: Sit down, reserve an appropriate time frame and write down ALL the things you know you either want/like or don`t want/like. By creating this list you`re creating your boundaries. It`s vital to know what kind of person you are.
Example of this kind of list:
Like: squash, lamborghini, dogs, house, modern art, blue, black, nature, hiking, mountains, flying, sea, push ups, milk, chocolate, brunettes, sun, beach, …
Don`t like: cats, horses, wrestling, acer, black tea, blonds, ford, fat people, hoovering, ironing, drinking, fighting, stupidity, bitter taste, mayo, …
Don`t think you can finish this list in 10 minutes. This is your long-term project. Carry this list with you (or create a document in your Gmail account, so you can access it from anywhere) and anytime another thing you like/want or don`t like/want pops up in your head, note it down!
This list forces you to think about things that are around you, note them down and realize who you are. If you feel you`ve changed your mind about some thing your list, feel free to edit it. It`s YOUR list and you`re building it for YOU.
Intelligence - again, you don`t need to be DaVinci or Einstein. This intelligence has nothing to do with your IQ. This is about being not stupid, receptive to new ideas, opened to discussion, aware of things around you.
It`s good to have some overview of the world, but you don`t have to memorize things (like who was a prime minister of Yemen in 1993).
Do you know where is the difference between somebody who is a walking encyclopedia (remembers everything about everything) and a laid back guy from this century? 2 minutes!
It`s not important to memorize things. It`s more important to know where to find the information you need. And today the internet is just a priceless tool!
Einstein has been asked if he knows the relationship between kilometer and mile. He replied: “I don`t know. I don`t want to waste my brain capacity on something that can be found in every second book.”
Exercise: Think about things that are around you. Try to understand the processes, not memorizing the steps. Most of the things on this world are based on some princip or logic.
Your brain is like a muscle – the more you use it, the more stronger it gets (and it works in both directions, so make sure to practice).
Ambition - again, you don`t have to have ambition like Hitler. It`s important that you have some bigger goal than move from your mom before you turn 45. You are a man and you want to realize yourself. You want to leave a footprint of your living on the Earth. And no, a footprint of your ass in a chair in front of your tv doesn`t count!
Ambitions relate to your list of things you want. If you want to have house, 2 beautiful kids and a dog, that`s fine. But work on that. This is not gonna happen if you`re sitting at home in that dammed chair.
Exercise: Create another list and write down your goals – what you want to achieve? Do you want to work as a pizza delivery boy, or do you want to have a successful business which generates you fat cheques even if you are with your beautiful girlfriend on a vacation?
Do you want to live in a trailer, or do you want to have a house with a big garden and a spare room for guests?
Drive - it`s fine to have ambitions, but if you have nothing that motivates you to achieve your goals, you are doomed not reaching your goals. You need to find a motivation. Something, that will juice you in achieving your goals.
Exercise: Create another list and write down every single thing that has given you a motivation to do something. Was it watching your dad repairing your radio? Or was it a tv show? Do you have a favorite character that motivates you? Did you have a poster of Ferrari 250 GTO above your bed?
Write down anything that creates in you a desire of accomplishment.
Confidence - so you are creative, you have a sense of humor (and you are not afraid to use it!), you have a selfrespect, you are intelligent, you have ambitions and you have a drive. By having that you must have gained a confidence as well, because if you really did the exercises and has worked with your personality for a while, you must feel the change and that change must juice you with the power of energy – confidence.
When a Girl Rejects You, The Life Ends
No. If it did, there wouldn`t be any guy left. You need to think of a rejection as a energy drink or a time management tool. I`ll explain those 3 ideas to help you understand what is possible if you reframe a situation and instead of suffering you actually gain something.
Reframe #1: Rejection is an energy drink
Do you know the old saying What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger? I`m sure you do. This is the idea. I just told you a couple of lines above that you won`t die if you get rejected, which means rejection makes you stronger. Each rejection becomes less important to you and because of that you naturally change your attitude and the fact that the world doesn`t stop for you whether a girl rejects you or not actually makes you more attractive to girls.
Reframe #2: Rejection is a time management tool
Imagine you approach a girl you are attracted to, you talk for an hour, but during the hour you would find out the girl is not attracted to you. By her letting you know right at the beginning that she is not attracted she saves a time to both of you. Isn`t that great?
Reframe #3: Rejection isn`t about you
You need to keep this in mind. If a girl rejects you, it`s all about her, not about you. There could be hundreds of reasons for her rejecting you. Don`t let it bother you.
Have you ever had a bad morning and the rest of the day was just rubbish? Has your boss yelled at you after lunch? Have you forgotten to do the laundry? Are you attracted to blonds, not brunettes? See? Those things could have happened to any girl. After all, we are all humans!
Don`t forget there are more girls than guys. So move on to another girl who is smiling at you.
Filed under: Attraction
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